Regalos, barroco de barraca

Me doy una vuelta por la página Pero, ¿por qué me compraste eso?, dedicada a catalogar mediante foto y relativo comentario regalos considerados horribles por quienes los han recibido, y me encuentro con cosas en las que lo horrendo, a mis ojos, pasa a segundo término. La mayor parte de ellas no son regalos que yo haría ni seguramente regalos que a mí me haría quien me conoce, pero sí que son objetos que si viera en tiendas me llamarían la atención, porque dejando a un lado sus cualidades estéticas no me parecen anodinos, sino más bien cargados de intención, llenos de voluntad de distinción con respecto a la masa de cacharros que inundan nuestras vidas cotidianas. Quizá precisamente por eso pueden resultar horrendos a quienes los reciben, por no complacer la parte caprichosa que todos llevamos dentro. Algunos son casi totalmente inútiles, pero la mayor parte combinan utilidad y distinción, entendiendo por esta todo lo que se añade al grado cero, que sería lo más cercano a la mera funcionalidad. Eso que algunos llaman minimalismo sería una exaltación del mero uso, mientras que lo que en el lenguaje común suele definirse como recargado, hortera, barroco (“si no es barroco es barraca”, dice el amanerado mayordomo de La bella y la bestia en la versión Disney) o , incluso, rococó, implicaría una serie de añadidos (vanamente) estetizantes.

Todas las fotos y comentarios provienen de: www.whydidyoubuymethat.com

 

From Alexandra: I received this as a Christmas Present from my grandfather. Not only is it hideous, but it lights up. I’m in highschool. What am I supposed to do with this. It’s definitely the thought that counts with this one…

From Alison: Are you ready for the most random gift of all time? My coworker just gave me a FRAMED PHOTO OF DAVID HASSELHOFF. With puppies. WTF?!?!?! I’ve never mentioned him once. I had to google how to spell his last name. Who would want this, other than his mother?
I can’t even reuse the frame, because that’s ugly too!
Worst gift I have ever gotten!!!

From Ashley: My mother bought this as a Christmas present for my 5 year old son. He has never seen the movie A Christmas Story so I don’t know why she thought this would make a great night-light for his bathroom. She takes it out of the drawer and plugs it back in every time she comes over. We know that she only buys gifts that are on clearance but this is just ridiculous!

From Bella: ok this gift takes the cake… bent, crushed looking cigarette earrings from my stepmother for my 25th birthday. i admittedly smoke cigarettes but that does not mean i want them dangling from my ears. who in their right mind would wear these things????

From Lynn:

For sale: Fish vase; original price: 14.99

I’m a 30-year-old female. I don’t fish, but even if I did, I wouldn’t want a fish vase. I received this from my husband’s aunt. Ugliest. Christmas. Gift. Ever. She was at our house this fall and asked us where the vase was. Umm…

From Lori: Worst gift I ever got was this creepy frog bag. It actually unzips along the back and I guess you’re actually supposed to use it as a purse. I don’t know if it is a real frog that’s been hollowed out or what the hell it is, but it’s disgusting! Why would I want to unzip a frog’s asshole to get my cell phone out? I hate this thing!

From Brianne: This is what I received from my Oma for Christmas last year. A fly swatter with a home-made cover that says ‘don’t bug me’. On top of that, she spelt my name wrong on the gift tag.

From Mona: I saw the doll someone submitted to this website a few days ago, and knew I had to share the awful doll I received as a “present” last month for my birthday. It is half baby, half wooly mammoth! And why does it have a soul patch on its chin? And why is it playing a makeshift guitar? And why does it have pig ears? Sadly, I have more questions than answers. All I know is I DO NOT WANT THIS THING IN MY HOUSE!!!

From Daniel: Today is my birthday and my office mate actually just gave me a stapler. But not just any stapler… a stapler shaped like an EAGLE’S BEAK. What in the name of holy hell is a grown ass man supposed to do with this? I’m going to throw it off the roof and see if it flie

Submitted by Jason, from Kendall: Worst gift ever?

From Jenny: When I opened this christmas present…thought it was a joke. Nope…no such luck!
(It’s supposed to hold and display a bottle of wine.)

From Cara: I was just given the ugliest, freakiest present of all time!!! A totally frightening baby doll face with faux pearl button eyes. I think it is a Christmas tree ornament, but this thing isn’t going to be part of any holiday I’m celebrating. Kill it with fire!!!!!!

From Dan: My brother gave me a pepperoni pizza clock for my birthday. This belongs hanging in a cheap mom and pop shop, not my kitchen! All I could think was “why did you buy me that?” I googled those words and ended up here!

From Luis: My friend Cristina bought me this owl made out of shells from Vigo (Spain). My girlfriend says she does not want to see it at home because it scares her

“One of our guests walked into our home with this… thing… and presented it to us as a gift at our last holiday party. It is a decorative reindeer with a phallic nose, and antlers that are supposed to hold tealight candles. We put it out on the curb the next day and wrote “free” and someone picked it up (probably to use as firewood). I know it’s the thought that counts but this thing was truly ugly. And I have a 3 year old. I don’t want to start answering questions about that nose!” -Diann